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 Sing to the tune of Brush Up Your Shakespeare from Kiss Me Kate
  Parody lyrics by Lee Samuel (Shari’s mom) click here for midi musical accompaniment

The girls today and in history
Go for Masculinity
The only guy that won’t make them sulk-a
Is the guy in the peyos and yarmulka.

The guy that can quote theose lines intact
With the girls he has the inside track.
If you go bury your head in a book
They all gather round for a second look.

Yes the guy who makes them fall
And drop down on the floor with a thud
Is the guy who’s on the ball
And knows all the quotes from the Talmud.

Brush up your Talmud
Start quoting it now.
Brush up your Talmud
And the women you will wow.

If you want her to think you’re quite flashy
Give a quick commentary by Rashi.

If she seems a bit troubled and ill-at-ease
Then just guide the perplexed with Maimonides.

If you want her to give you another look
Find a choice little quote from Shulhan Aruk.

If you think she won’t want to kish ya
Tell a fast little tale form the Mishna.

If you thnk she might not agree-a
Convince her with Baba Matzia.

Brush up your Talmud
And they’ll all kow tow--and how
And they’ll all kow tow.

If you think she’s a heck of a lassie
Then impress her with Judah ha Nasi.

If you really want her to own ya
Quote the Talmud from Babylonia.

If she thinks you’re a child and a kid-rash
Spin a tale that you get from the Midrash.

If she finds you a peasant or peon
Spread the words of old Saadya Geon.

If she tires and she sonds agitated
Just remember the law’s complicated.

Brush up your Talmud
And they’ll swoon and sway....Oi Vey
And they’ll swoon and sway.

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